Although I’m not a professional photograph, I can say that I’ve taken some rather captivating photos with my iPhone 7 Plus. I can already hear the gasps and groans bemoaning my lack of class for owning such a hipster gadget. Those groaning have perhaps not used Portrait mode, a welcome benediction for any amateur photographer.
I work as a medical laboratory technician for a veterinary diagnostic laboratory. That’s just fancy jargon for testing for animal diseases. (Yes, humans are animals too, but we don’t count here.) As many in the field will know, this transliteration is crucial because explaining the job to our fellow plebeians typically requires graceful acrobatics to avoid sounding like Jeffrey Dahmer. Once, while talking to a potential date, our flirtatious blandishments evolved into more inquisitorial chitchat regarding life experience and then, eventually, occupations. It is important to mention that my very attractive interlocutor had zero scientific or laboratory background. In retrospect, it may have been in error, therefore, to describe my craft as “cutting up animal parts.” One would be safe in the assumption that we didn’t exchange numbers. [Insert the sigh of defeat.]
My professional stagnation has ended and I now work for a company that isn’t a glorified sweatshop. Indeed, my new company cares about my wellbeing and concerns itself with my betterment, unlike any job I have previously held. It’s a place that allows me to cultivate my elementary photographer skills while simultaneously captivating—and hopefully educating—my audience. That’s why I started my new Instagram page, @histoprodigy. A lame name, yes. However, all the clever and punny ones were taken. All the images are real specimens taken from real animals, captured with Portrait mode, no less.