Sometimes It’s The Littlest Things…

People often under-estimate the knock-on effects of alcoholism and by that I mean the psychological effects. People assume it’s all about getting that next drink or being permanently hungover, but it’s so much more. I was self-harming during this time. On one particular occasion I sliced my head open with a new Stanley blade. At the time I didn’t know why I did these things, but on reflection I remember how safe I felt every time I was admitted to hospital and how utterly terrified I was every time I had to go home. Hospital was my cry for help, home meant being back on the booze.

I wasted so many years of people’s precious time and it’s taken me a long time to forgive myself for that. The unacceptable had very much become acceptable in my eyes. By the age of 34 I had accepted that I was a…